Many of the situations we are in that go bad, is because of the inability to assert ourselves and express our need and right to be treated well and with respect. However, so often I talk to people who tell me about their inability to be assertive and demand that people treat them with respect. Many times, they allow others to control them, because they become aggressive towards the submissive person, so therefore because they are intimidated they simply allow others to get their way.
Ultimately however, what this will do is reduce your already fragile self-esteem, it will make you feel like a failure, a loser maybe, or downright not good enough.
You can learn to change this. Have a read of these 14 assertive rights that you and I are entitled to as human beings.
Bill of assertive rights
- You have the right to judge your own behavior, musings and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.
- You have the right to offer no reason or excuses for justifying your behavior.
- You have the right to judge on the off chance that you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.
- You have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them.
- You have the right to say I do not know.
- You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
- You have the right to say I do not understand.
- You have the right to say, That is unacceptable to me.
- You have the right to say I do not care.
- We have the right to have needs and to have those needs be as important as other people’s needs.
- We have the right to ask other people to respond to our needs.
- We have the right to have feelings, and to express these feelings in ways which do not violate the nobility of other people.
- We have the right to decide whether we will meet other people’s expectations or whether we will act in ways which fit us, as long as we act in ways which do not violate other people’s right.
- You have the right to say NO.
Presently ask yourself this question. Which one of these points do I struggle with the most? Which assertive rights to I not implement and maintain in my life? I’m sure you will find a few of them. Once you have an idea about which ones you struggle with the most, you can then start to change the way you react Assert your rights. You see, once you become aware of something you want to change in your life, it will begin to stand out in contrast to everything else whenever you do not reinforce it.
What you ought to also do is to begin working out in your mind how you will deal with this issue when it comes up again. Work out a way that you can have your rights respected while respecting the other person’s rights as well. I could continue explaining in more detail how you become assertive, yet this article will be way to long.